After Augustus - the fault in our stars
by charliefarlie0408
Summary: Hazel is thinking about Gus when tragedy strikes... This is my first time writing FanFic so I hope you all like it :)


They say that pain fades with time, I think that's a load of crap, pain does not fade, you simply just forget about what it as that hurt you, like a death of someone you love. However, it is not easy to "forget" about someone you love, take me for instance, 18 years old and my first and only boyfriend died a year ago and I'm not coping at all, my depression has hit the roof and my lungs are about to explode. Mom always tells me to "Get out of the house and make some more friends!" but that's not easy, my only real friends were Gus and Isaac, I still see Isaac now and again, but he's away for a week visiting family in Europe so I can't see him, and as for Gus, well... It was great knowing him...

The thing with having a terminal illness (Lung cancer in my case, yay death) is that once someone you know dies you feel almost jealous that it was them instead of you, and when that person had an 80% survival chance you just sit and think "WHY! IT'S NOT FAIR, THEY HAD SUCH A CHANCE OF LIVING" but life must go on, and for me, Hazel Grace Lancaster, that is very hard.

I'll just talk briefly about Gus. Augustus Waters was a great guy, he was 17 when he died, he had Osteosarcoma which made the surgeons remove his leg, and then he was NEC for 14 months, we both thought that he would outlive me seeing as he had an 80% survival chance, but when we went to Amsterdam he told me he had a recurrence, his chest, his other leg, his liver... It eventually killed him, leaving me here alone with only my parents and Isaac, who was Gus's best friend, he had eye cancer and had to have them removed, he is now blind. He as so caring and loving, he used his one and only wish (I had already used mine when I as thirteen to go to Disneyworld) on a trip to take us to Amsterdam to meet my favourite author, Peter Van Houten, who turned out to be a complete arse, that was a great trip, Gus and I had a great time (even left as a non-virgin) he left me with so many happy memories of us before he died and I can't wait until I can finally see him again.

Anyways, mom took me to the doctors to get more depression meds, it's got so much worse since Gus died. It's got to the point where I've given up trying to kill myself, I know it'll happen soon, it's been so long (about 3 months, new record!) since my lungs went funny that something is bound to happen soon.

That night as I lay in bed reading AIA (I couldn't sleep again) I thought about Gus and my chest started to hurt, at the time I thought it was because I missed him, but it was something a lot worse, I didn't even have the strength to cry out as my world descended in to darkness.

When I finally came around all I heard was a faint beeping noise, I was aware that there was a pain in my chest, I looked down and surprise surprise there was about 5 tubes, all draining amber coloured cancer fluid, I knew instantly what had happened.

"Oh baby you're awake! Ohmygodohmygod!" Mom sobbed

"Hazel we... we thought... you would..." Dad couldn't finish his sentence; he choked on his sobs and sat down

"Hazel, there was a problem, your Phalanxifor has... Your cancer has..." Doctor Maria begun

I knew what was happening, the cancer had become resistant, Phalanxifor no longer worked on me, I was dying. I choked back a sob.

"Hazel it's okay, it'll be just like falling asleep" Mom said soothingly, trying to be strong for my sake

"We love you so much Hazel, you were the best thing that had ever happened to us" Dad sobbed

"I love you both so much, I'm so sorry for putting you through this" I sobbed, mom and dad were both holding me now; I could feel everything start to fade. I panicked

"It... It won't hurt... Will it...? I said weakly

"No no no Hazel it won't hurt" My parents said in unison

"At least I'll... I'll see Gus" I said, tears rolling down my cheeks "I'll tell him... I'll tell him you missed him..."

"We are so proud of you Hazel, you've done so well" Dad said, tears streaming down his loving face "We're always going to be thinking of you, we'll never forget you, our little cancer fighting princess who we loved so so much"

"Promise me something...? I could feel my heart getting slower, I could see Gus in my mind clearly now, reaching for my hand "Write my Eulogy?"

"We will Hazel" Said Mom "We promise" They hugged me

My heartbeat was so faint now I could hardly feel it; I closed my eyes and could see and hear Gus, asking me if I loved him, reaching for my hand, I reached for his hand

I do Augustus.

I do.


End file.
